The 5 Love Languages

Gary and I took this little test about a year and a half ago and the results were interesting. We're both completely different.
Basically the way it works is this:
1. You take the test.
2. You get the results.

YOUR love languages (generally the top 2) are what your spouse/partner needs to show you for you to feel love. Your spouse/partner's love languages are what THEY need from you in order to feel loved.

Mine are "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation". Gary's are "Quality Time" and "Acts of Service". (I have explanations of each coming.)
It's a common mistake couples make to give their spouse what they themselves need to feel loved. For example: While I'm sure Gary appreciates touching and loving words that's not what he needs to feel loved and vice versa. It's very important to know their love languages in addition to your own. :)

You can take the test here:
The 5 Love Languages

Here are the results you can get:
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

It's pretty simple.
It's also fun when your spouse/partner knows what your love languages are and passive-aggressivly goes out of their way to make sure you receive neither. Yup, tons of fun. Thanks.

I'm trying really hard...

...really really really really really hard to be the wife that I WANTED to be, not the wife I have become. I'm making some serious changes.

I love you Gary.

You know dear...

Oh lookie, I have some more red baby tomatoes. That's enough to make half a salad... now if they'd start growing in with maybe oh 10 to 20 red ones at a time I'd be happier. Stupid gardens.

I haven't been up to much of anything. Just hanging low keeping to my own business and trying to keep my marriage from falling apart.

Two weeks ago we had marriage therapy. When we were leaving I asked the girl at the front desk to cancel my personal therapy appointments. It just wasn't working out with that lady and I didn't want to try again. A week later I get a call from the same girl telling me I had missed my 2:30 appt with Dr. So and So that day. I said, LAST WEEK I told you that I cancelled all my appointments with her. And on that note if I had this so called appointment today why didn't anyone call my house to verify this like you guys are supposed to. She had nothing to say so I said very clearly "Please cancel all of my personal therapy appointments that are on the schedule".
So we get there today at 2:30 for our marriage therapy. We're filling out a questionnaire we have to fill out every time we go in and she comes scampering out of the back and says "you know when you had me cancel your appointments..." I cut her off and said "Let me guess, you cancelled this one too".... and she said yes so I started to crumple up the questionnaire and she says no no no I can still get you in and I say when because I don't have all day and neither does Gary. So I uncrumple and keep filling it out. Meanwhile she disappears and out comes the doctor who's been my personal therapist for a few times and she said that Airman so and so is very sorry and feels horrible but that we can reschedule and I'm like Um.. she said she could fit us in and she said no.. your doctor just stepped in with some other people... ok first of I'm already pissed off at Gary before we even get here... I'm even MORE pissed off at Gary because of some of his answers and now I'm FURIOUS with this stupid IDIOT they have running this office. So I recrumple the paper and walk the eff out of there. Gary stays behind to reschedule. NOT UNTIL JUNE 14th CAN THEY SEE US.. hopefully I haven't left him by then.
I started a journal the week after I found out he had cheated on me last August. EVERYTHING I predicted would happen over the next few months after has HAPPENED.
I gave him a 3 month ultimatum 1.5 months ago. Maybe my vacation to visit my baby sister in Hawaii won't be a vacation but a moving in. We'll see.

Right now I'm too furious for anymore words than this.

Aloha

My sister (Mandie) lives in Hawaii now (she's in the Army). Her husband is leaving for the desert (again) in late June so my plans are to slip off for a long weekend/short week in Hawaii sometime in July.
My dilemma is having to leave Gary home alone. Look what he did when I was in the same house as him.. or down the street for a few hours.. now I want to leave the continental US?

I'm right here!!!

I haven't updated because I have no memory of this last week. I know we did stuff I just don't remember any of it.
Wait, yes I do.
We went to the commissary on Friday. That was a disaster. Not only was it military payday (I forgot) it was also the quarterly case lot sale at the commissary so it was a FRACKING MADHOUSE!
We had to fight our way down aisles and the line to check out was wrapped around the store. Luckily it was only about 30 minutes to wait to check out. People were very crabby by the time they got there though. Two ladies decided Gary and I had cut them off in line and cried about it for 5 minutes. Honestly if they had just shut up I would have let them in front of us but since they wouldn't STOP TALKING about it we decided to ignore them and keep our place.

Also, we went to some snobby restauraunt in Tempe for lunch last week. The food was DELICIOUS. The employees were very nice but I really needed to go home and shower the snot off of me. To give you an idea of where we were. There was a Saks Fifth Avenue on one side of us and a Coach store (not outlet) on the other side. I'd go back though. It was really good food. We've been trying to go out to lunch every Wednesday since it's the only day of the week he doesn't have to be in an hour early for P.T. This week I'd like to stay on this side of the valley though. 45 minute drives are... long.

We spent the weekend vegging out. Actually, I spent the weekend vegging out. He spent it writing a research paper that he procrastinated on. His brain was melted by the time he was finished but he'll probably ace it because he's stupid smart.

Other than all that my weeks been pretty ... average.

I did get one cherry tomato off of my plant though! Hopefully the other ones turn red around the same time...

Oh and we went to see the new Robin Hood movie on Sunday night. Don't waste your money. It's too long and too slow. I wouldn't even recommend renting it unless you want a good nap.

Things that...

...might possibly scare the living crap out of you when you're home alone at night because your husband is at work.

1. Having the phone company hurl new phone books up your driveway banging against your garage door.
2. Having your recycling can fall over ... loudly
3. Closing your cat in your closet and having him thump around for about 2 hours.

When all THREE happen, it's acceptable to sit by your desk freaked out with a great big huge butcher knife. Just sayin'

Water anyone?

Gary hasn't quite learned how to finish one bottle before opening another one. At least we recycle!