Things that make me STABBY STABBY on Facebook

Things I hope to not see on FB in 2012:

1. Duck lips - no explanation needed. This also includes "holding the camera over your head".

2. Taking a picture of yourself in the mirror and posting it on FB. It's just... tacky and even more so when you've got the camera showing. Call me and I'll come snap some of you. That's for 12 year old kids (who shouldn't be on FB anyway) and very conceited people.

3. Song Lyrics - Seriously? Someone else wrote it and sang it and let's leave it that way. Write your own song.
Journey's "Small Town" lyric wars are the only exception.

4. #MOTHERFLIPPINHASHTAGS!!!!! 90% of you don't even USE Twitter so WHY do you use hashtags? #itdoesntmakeyoucooler

5. EVERY.SINGLE.FREAKIN.SONG.YOU.WATCHED.ON.YOUTUBE.TODAY. That's the reason 90% of the people I've blocked from seeing their news feeds are blocked.

6. People who use their kids/pets as profile pictures. That's what the photo albums are for. Unless YOU are in the picture with that animal or child it shouldn't be there. Special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and things like that don't bother me but really? All the time? Every time someone comments when they use a kid or pet as a profile I think to myself, "A dog wouldn't say that".

7. Your bodily functions and schedule. How many times a day do you need to update? Sometimes I miss important things from friends and family because someone has filled my news feed up with about 15 posts in 15 minutes. I get to hear "I woke up" - "I ate breakfast" - "Took my morning poop!" - and so on and so forth. It's called Attention Whoring and it's not attractive. Just because people haven't acknowledged a post doesn't mean you have to change tones and make another one just for more attention. K?

8. If I see one more person throw their personal business on Facebook and then say "This is not any of your business" I might scream. If you don't want people in your business DONT PUT IT ON FACEBOOK!!!

9. Kids - I have VERY few kids on my friends list and I'm not going to censor myself because they are there. Don't have your kids request to be my friend because it's not going to happen. Kids should be seen and not heard... or seen actually. If you have to change your birthday to make it "legal" for you to be on FB then you shouldn't BE on FB.... you're too young. Period!

10. And last but certainly not least!!! This has gotten really bad in the last few months... but for the love of all that is good PLEASE stop bombarding my screen with all those stupid pictures with "positive and uplifting" quotes on them... or bitchy quotes, or girl power quotes, or love and romance quotes or anything along those lines at all. If you really really REALLY can't think of something on your own to say then just shut up? One a day would be acceptable but some people I know download and then upload them all to their FB posting 100's a week. It's killing me. It's turned into the world of "I can't think of anything to say so I'm just going to borrow someone else's shit to say."



DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT HAVE ANY ONE PERSON IN MIND. JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK THIS MIGHT BE ABOUT YOU DOES NOT MEAN THAT IT IS ABOUT YOU. IF YOU *DO* THINK IT'S ABOUT YOU THAN MAYBE YOU SHOULD RECONSIDER YOUR HABITS ON FACEBOOK. MAYBE YOU'RE JUST IRRITATING PEOPLE. :)
These are MY opinions and by no means am I stating that everyone thinks or should think this way. These are my opinions on my blog. You're probably only pissed off because you're guilty of one or all of them anyway. #kthnxbai