And that's that...

So it's the 19th. Six wake-ups til Christmas people!! Are you ready?? I am for the most part. My baby sister flies in on Thursday, my parents fly in the night after. This will bring a sweet wrap-up to a year that I've actually been able to visit my entire family. I got to see Lisa and Dan in September when Gary took me home on the promised vacation and I get to see my baby sister this Christmas.

I'm trying to avoid the traditional "end of the year" blog post. I've almost always done one but honestly most of my year has been a struggle filled with wonderful times and bad times but mostly private times and I'm not the same girl I was 7 years ago. The days of "Bitchalicious" and me spewing every detail of my life online are over. All that being said, it HAS actually been a good year even given the crap I've dealt with the 3 years prior to that and with 2010 being the most miserable in my entire life, 2011 has been good. It HAS been a struggle. I made the decision to stay with Gary and work HARD on our marriage and it's brought us so close I dare say it's been the best year for our marriage yet and I'm looking forward to see what 2012 brings.

How many of you stuck to your 2011 resolutions? I know I did. I just went back through my Facebook Timeline trying to find my NY resolution post I made but apparently I was so drunk (which I don't remember...which is weird because I don't drink so you'd think I'd remember being drunk)... anyway I digress. For my 2011 resolution I told myself that I was going to tell someone special to me that I loved them at least once every day of the year. No one in particular but SOMEONE in my life who was special to me... for 365 days and I did it. Obviously it didn't start off being the same people it was by the end of the year. My, how life has changed in 12 (long/short) months. I've been thinking about what it's going to be for 2012. I have a few things in mind but I haven't narrowed it down and who knows? I might do more than one!!!

This post has been sitting in my drafts for about a week now. Mostly because I don't know how to bring it to an end. I don't think that 2011 and I have had our closure and I'm not sure we will so I'm just going to leave it like it is...

My husband is nuts

3 days ago Gary went to McDonalds for the hot chocolate that he gets almost every morning. They told him they couldn't sell him one but would he like a peppermint mocha instead. He said that he really just wanted his hot chocolate. WELL, then they told him they couldn't sell him one because the machine was dirty because they had forgotten to clean it the night before.
NOW, Gary is boycotting McDonalds... not just this one but ALL of them... because "the employees are idiots".
He said that a written apology would stop the boycott so now I'm off to email McDonalds...

/facepalm

Get Gone

How many times do I have to say to get away, get gone.
Flip your shit past another lasses humble dwelling.
You got your game, made your shot, and you got away
With a lot, but I'm not turned-on.
So put away that meat you're selling

Cuz I do know what's good for me
And I've done what I could for you
But you're not benefiting, and yet I'm sitting
Singing again, sing, sing again

How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
Am I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me

How many times can it escalate
Till it elevates to a place I can't breathe?
And I must decide, if you must deride
That I'm much obliged to up and go
I'll idealize, then realize that it's no
sacrifice, because the price is paid, and
There's nothing left to grieve

Fucking go-
Cuz I've done what I could for you, and I do know what's
Good for me and I'm not benefiting, instead
I'm sitting singing again, singing again, singing again,
Sing, sing, sing again
How can I deal with this, if he won't get with this
Am I gonna heal from this; he won't admit to it
Nothing to figure out; I gotta get him out
It's time the truth was out that he don't give a
Shit about me

Oh look! It's not a recipe!

Where have I been?

Well cooking obviously... and actively avoiding life for various reasons.

1. Going through some shit that involved bills and finances (solved)
2. November/December is the year anniversary of some bad memories.
3. Always have a hard time around the holidaze so I've been (again) actively trying to stay out of Bi-Polar Depression mode. (so far successful)
4. The weather has been downright ridiculous around here in Phoenix so my fibro is screaming at me. This brings fatigue ... lots of fatigue.

Speaking of weather... SERIOUSLY??
It was 32 this morning when I woke up. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, I KNOW that's not cold compared to *here* or *there* but this is Phoenix. I'm acclimated to 95+ and honestly no matter where in the country I have lived (and it's been quite a few places) 32 has ALWAYS been cold to me. If you're honestly tired of listening to me complain (mostly on Facebook) that it's cold then I'll stop but I swear to God I don't want to hear a BLOODY word in the summer from you whiners.

Are you ready for Christmas? I AM... I have been since almost August. I mean I have a few things to buy still but I have KNOWN what I was doing since August. I started way early this year because it was planned rather early on for my Mom/Dad/Sister and her family to all come out here for Christmas and I wanted to spend the last 2 weeks preparing for that, not running around like a chicken shopping .. ya know?
I AM really excited though.

This month brings the end of 2011. It started off as one of the worst years of my life (the last 3 years have been contending for number 1). It's ending up to be ... ok maybe not one of the best but better off than I have been the last few so I'm not going to complain. I still have a LOT of CRAP to work through in my head but I'm getting there. :)
I've been able to see my entire family this year, including my brother whom I hadn't seen in SIX years. That was great.
I've been able to finally work on things with Gary without past behaviors looming in the dark corners just putting a damper on anything we've tried to do in the past. It's felt real, it's felt nice. I love him.

And that's all I've got to say about that! /Forrest Gump

p.s. I just saw that my template has somehow messed up and so I'll be fixing it/looking for a new one later. :)

Irish Soda Bread

You'd think, being married to an Irishman, I'd make this bread more but I really don't, and the last time I did he left half of it un-eaten. I made some today. It better be gone by Monday!!!

First off make this bread at least 5 hours before you'll actually need it. This is not a 'serve warm or hot' bread.

You're going to need:
3 cups all -purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/3 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg, lightly beaten
2 cups buttermilk ***
1/4 cup butter, melted

Preheat the oven to 325 F (165 C). Grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

Combine flour, baking powder, sugar, salt and baking soda. Blend the egg and buttermilk together separately then add all at once to the flour mixture. Mix until just moistened. Stir in the melted butter. Pour into the greased pan.

Bake for 65 to 70 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean blah blah blah. Cool for about 5 minutes on a wire rack. Wrap the bread loaf in foil for several hours UP TO overnight for the best flavor.

*** if you do not have buttermilk you can make your own with some milk and white vinegar. 4.5 teaspoons per cup of milk.

Enjoy!!!

Seafood Pasta on Linguine

I've made this with and without the seafood. It was a hit both ways! :)

You're going to need:
1 large onion, chopped
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 cup of white wine or chicken broth (I use the broth)
2 can (14 oz) diced fire roasted tomatoes
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon oregano (I prefer to just use Italian seasoning)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 package (16 oz) linguine
1 pound sea scallops
9 oz. peeled and de-veined shrimp.

So, in a large skillet, saute onion in butter and oil until tender. Add garlic and cook for another minute. Add in the chicken broth (or wine) and bring to a boil. Cook this until the mixture has been reduced to 1/2 cup.
Add the tomatoes, rosemary, sugar, oregano, salt and pepper. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered for 15 minutes.

Cook linguine according to the package.

Add scallops and shrimp to tomato mixture; cook for 4-5 minutes or until the shrimps and scallops are cooked.

Serve seafood mixture over the cooked linguine.

Enjoy!!!

My New Chili Love

It's called "Texican Chili" in the recipe book but the girl who submitted it is from Utah? Anyway... on our search for new recipes Gary wanted me to try this one. He's NOT a fan of chili since he hates beans but this one didn't call for that many. It's delicious. He loved it. He loved it even more the next day. Melia and I just ate it for a quick lunch 3 days later and I swear it got even better!!

Now, living in Phoenix it's really hard to make "comfort foods" being that it's over 95 for 9 months out of the year. It's a problem with Gary since most of his favorite foods consist of heavy red meats and lots of starches. The day I made this it was 98 outside but the beauty of this is that it cooks in the crock pot!! NO standing over the stove stirring, heating up your kitchen.

Now, you're going to want to start this early because it IS a 9 hour cook. So, now I'll stop talking and start sharing!! You're going to need a BIG crock pot. Mine is 5 quarts and it was full!

You're going to need:
8 strips of bacon, diced
2.5 pounds of beef stew meat in 1/2 inch cubes
3 cans stewed tomatoes (14 oz)
2 cans tomato sauce (8 oz)
1 can kidney beans (16 oz drained and rinsed)
1 cups sliced carrots
1 cup chopped celery
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup chopped green pepper
1/4 cup fresh parsley (I skipped this, not a fan)
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon pepper

Start by cooking the diced bacon in a skillet. Remove the bacon to drain on paper towels. Brown the stew meat in the bacon grease.
Transfer the beef to your crock pot.
Add the bacon to the beef and then add the remaining ingredients. Cover and cook on low for 9 to 10 hours or until the meat is tender and falling apart. Stir occasionally.

We topped it with diced raw onion and shredded cheddar cheese. I also made cornbread to go with the chili. Gary inhaled it all. Dinner success!!!