Friday, June 18, 2010

The 5 Love Languages

Gary and I took this little test about a year and a half ago and the results were interesting. We're both completely different.
Basically the way it works is this:
1. You take the test.
2. You get the results.

YOUR love languages (generally the top 2) are what your spouse/partner needs to show you for you to feel love. Your spouse/partner's love languages are what THEY need from you in order to feel loved.

Mine are "Physical Touch" and "Words of Affirmation". Gary's are "Quality Time" and "Acts of Service". (I have explanations of each coming.)
It's a common mistake couples make to give their spouse what they themselves need to feel loved. For example: While I'm sure Gary appreciates touching and loving words that's not what he needs to feel loved and vice versa. It's very important to know their love languages in addition to your own. :)

You can take the test here:
The 5 Love Languages

Here are the results you can get:
Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

It's pretty simple.
It's also fun when your spouse/partner knows what your love languages are and passive-aggressivly goes out of their way to make sure you receive neither. Yup, tons of fun. Thanks.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I'm trying really hard...

...really really really really really hard to be the wife that I WANTED to be, not the wife I have become. I'm making some serious changes.

I love you Gary.