What you're trying to do takes SO much courage, Rachel. I hope you always remember what a beautiful & loving person you are, and what a good heart we have. I'm not discounting or excusing anything ~ we ALL have our moments, trust me, I'm the "queen of moments." I just don't want you beating yourself up, or thinking you aren't good enough - ever. In my opinion, you are exactly who you are supposed to be. I love you & I hope you love you, too.
Oops...I made a typo. I wrote, "and what a good heart we have." & should have written, "and what a good heart you have.
Life is about constant changes...just make sure the changes are beneficial to YOU as well as Gary!