Thursday, April 15, 2010

Not so shiny and happy...

I should probably call my shrink tomorrow and set up an appointment. He needs to take a look at my meds and probably make some adjustments. I've been in a huge depression lately and can't seem to shake it. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to "hang out" to " get my mind off of things". It might work for your [insert random name here] but it doesn't work for me so don't ask.
I don't feel like getting dressed and making an effort to look nice for Gary. He doesn't notice anyway. He sure notices when I "let myself go" but when I make an effort (which I've done almost every day since Aug. 4th 2009) .. nothing.. unless we're headed out on a date and it's the obligatory thing to say.
I don't even feel like cooking. His "girlfriend" was a chef so I just feel.. inadequate.

Yes, inadequate. That about sums up exactly how I feel right now. Is this shit supposed to end anytime soon? 8 months and I still feel like absolute crap. Is it my job to make things better? I'm not the one who crapped on my self-confidence and emotions in the first place... why do I have to be the one who cleans it up?


  1. I get that you don't want to "just chat", but if you feel like calling - I'm up at this ungodly hour for some reason.
    Wish I had the magic fix for you. I have 1 suggestion (stop rolling your eyes!!) and that is just take it 1 day at a time. It eventually gets better, we both know it does. But when it's bad, it feels like it's been bad forever. Just for today. <3
    You decorated your blog! You couldn't stand the other design, could you? LOL

  2. Depression sucks. Men can suck (and not in the good way). Sick dogs suck. I hope things start turning around and you feel better! Do you need me to take my pimp hand to Gary??